Johnson: Prayers and Meditations (ca. 1760s)
Johnson composed several diaries throughout the 1760s in which he reflected on his own life. Many scholars argue that these diaries are an attempt by Johnson to engage in a sort of self-psychoanalysis in order to combat the deep depression that he was experiencing during this time. I will just record a few observations from the selections in the Oxford edition of Johnson’s major works.
The structure of these journals is very unconventional; when Johnson first starts keeping it, it appears to be a draft of his autobiography, but soon he begins recording events of his daily life. Some entries are merely prayers, between one and two paragraphs long, that he composes in order to say the next day. I think the most interesting passages, though, are the ones in which Johnson chides himself for not living up to his own resolutions; he seems aware that he cannot make himself a perfect Christian, yet he also sees the value in striving for that perfection and beats himself up rather severely for not achieving it. Johnson also talks a lot about his wife, Tetty, and his mother, both of whose deaths he marks annually with fasts and lengthy prayers. It’s strange how there are few if any anecdotes about these women in Johnson’s life, yet he seems deeply disturbed by their deaths… they are much more conspicuous in their absence than in their presence. I’m not sure what to make of that, but I think it’s worth noting.
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